I've lived for 17 years now. I think I've passed through too things for this age. It's not like I hate to grow up but at the same time I just want the time to stop. My life is totally fixed! I have been so tiring of this life but I just couldn't do anything. I want to have a freedom, I don't like to be isolated by anyone. It's just like a bird is inside the cage. I like to dream, I like beling myself. But the surroundings just blend me into another thing that I don't want to be... To tell the ture, I never dreamt and never want to have such a luxury life or a big house or a room full of teddy bears. I just want to be a normal girl who live and have ordinary life like a country girl. I'll be very pleased to be like that. I hate a big house without a lot of people. It feels like so quiet and lonely and liveless = =. I like small house which every member stay together with a smile fills on their faces. However, it will never happens in reality...

In fact, reality is scary than anyone could imagine. People live, people die and people fight. They fight for their rights although sometimes it's too much and even cause somone's life. Those people is scary. I don't like to compete, may be my point of view is quite strong to this extent. I mean everyone can live together without competing, power or selfishness. But this world is just changed as time passes and people forget the truth about living.

Love is just something that give me power and happiness. I like to watch people success, it makes me happy. But it's so heart breaking to see someone suffer. However, the ture is that God judge us equally and everyone get back what they've done. God loves his children and never want to punish if his children aren't wrong.


My mom talk about me going to China again.... I don't want to go!!!! I DON'T WANT! How many times she wants to ask? I know it's good to use Chinese in the future but I don't want to learn in the uinversity. Can you imagine how hard is that?? I never learn Chinese before, even once! How can you simply put me like that!? OMG = =". But I guess, I won't have any other choice... I'm a good daughter, ain't I??



I know how you feel, I realise it.. But it kinda hard to actually decide to really accept your feelings. It's really a sudden to me. I didn't imagine and think that you have this kind of feelings towards me. But I don't hate you... I like you more instead I think^^". But I don't wanna trap myself into the feelings even more 'cause I'll not be able to hold myself together. I don't wanna hurt myself and you also. I know we can make a good couple since we have so much things in common but the time is just not right. But if you ask me to be yours, if you don't care it will hurt you or painful to you... Then I'll be there for only you.... Even though I'm scared I'll be yours 'cause I'm yours....




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